I never write on this one...check out my other one.

www.xanga.com/Brokenhearted_CeCe

laterz

Let's get it crackin....

Where do I start!! Damn lets go to whats been poppin off the last two weeks. Hmmmm gotta come up with a name for this dude...why are all my entries about dudes...that is so sad even for me to say that. Anyway back to the main topic...what name am I going to come up for this dude....Weak ass bitch...nah....Trick ass hoe....nope....Punk ass pussy....nah...Hmmmm what am I going to come up with for him....Lying ass trick ass slut ass bitch ass... naw too many words to write down....what the fuck....we'll just keep it simple...Kenya because thats where he came from anyway.
Prelude: Kenya and I met on the bus my sophomore year and I liked him...he was kool peeps. Always saw him at parties. He seemed like he was starting to like me so if he was wanting to get with me he had to work for it. Then I heard something real bogus he to this girl!! Too bogus...had sex with her ass and left her high and dry through a text message. I kinda ceased after that bit of information...saw him occasionally and always said hey and what not them two weeks ago happened....
Lets get it crackin:
About two weeks ago I get a text message asking why I haven't talked to Kenya...why should I? You go out with one of my friends and oh yeah I like you...I'm like I've been busy...which I wasn't I just wasn't trying to run into any complications. So I'm like fuck it..I'm tired of hiding my feelings! So I tell him straight up...I like you. He's like I like you too! His thirsty ass was like well you need to come over. Thirsty ass...i'm like what about you and your my friend? He's like me and her aren't together and I'm glad...I wasn't happy and now he was free from her! Then he throws in I know you and her aren't that cool....yall just act like yall are which is true..I mean I've known her for ever but she and I just don't mesh well because she...well she's too emotional for me and well we can never really agree on anything. Anyway I went over there that Tuesday just to talk. Just to talk I swear!! We got to talking about how we liked eachother...Then he kissed me and everything thing changed! Wasn't suppose to go down like that at all. Yeah that day turned out to be a kissing frenzy...which I'm not going to lie it was good but Kenya was trying to have sex too....Nope...You gotta be in relationship with me if you trying to get it. So then anyway I was like ok...this could work out in my favor...we like eachother....he's good company...he cool...funny...and cute. Anyway I go to facebook and see that he's been talking to some chick like they were more than friends...it seemed that...in fact I know it was that way! Plus his relationship status was like its complicated with someone...and I knew that shit wasn't me So I cut his ass off...I quit texting. Then I guess he realized it because all of sudden his ass why like why haven't I talked to him. Yeah my ass went right back that weekend and spent the night... kissing and touch frenzy again he tried again to cross that line...wasn't having I told him the truth...I DON'T trust you! He seemed offended...of fucking well Kenya! So I hadn't talked to him since that weekend and he hits me up on the 4th of July talking about do you have some liquor...I had a little bit...decent amount so I figure I'd let him have it. Dumb ass move Candyce very dumb!
The Message: I
Its about 7:30 in the morning and Kenya is writing me talking about come over I moved to my new apartment...COME OVER COME OVER COME OVER! I'm like ok. So everything seems cool and like yeah this message from Facebook saying this (direct quote)
"This is gonna sound real realy bad but i got a message from her 2day! She really had a few things to say and she said a few things i had been waiting to hear but never expected to. I really think, as i look at this whole situation it wouldnt be right for anything is come of our friendship. Be4 it goes any futher i think i would be wrong and insensetive to do that! Please i hope you can understand im tryin to avoid conflict! Lets just be friends, no one wants things to get crazy round here. I hope you aint mad! Please understand! Thanks!"
This was some fake ass shit right here... Kenya tried to play me and was like we can be friends...BITCH I don't wanna be your friend!! You broke that when yo ass kissed me! I mean I really didn't mind that he was getting back with her but I don't wanna be anything to you...you tried to pull some slick shit right here....things changed when you kissed me...I'm cutting you out of my life...goodbye. Sorry people I can't be fake and act like I'm cool when I'm not..I guess when he realized I wasn't giving it up that easy...he quit trying.
Then he said I was being childish and at least he tried...deuces!! Then before I could send another message to him...Kenya blocked me before I got a chance to do it myself. So then I put on my status message that I was tired of stupid ass bitches and hoes...you know who you are!! You live and you learn!
Epilogue:
So his ass starts writing on facebook in my honesty box...please do note: He blocked me!! So why the fuck are you on my page Kenya!! Dumb ass because you a thirsty ass hoe that has nothing better to do! Writing me telling me how thirsty I was and I wasn't the only female he was laying up with after her. He had quite a few as he said. What a trick ass hoe. Seriously...I didn't even respond to his last message because it was just full of pure ignorance! I was serious about cutting you out of my life. He's gone just like the rest. Time to keep it moving...
I'm out!

The straw that broke the camel's back!!!

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ME VENTING AT THE MOMENT.....CAUTION!!! VERY VULGAR LANGUAGE!!!
I feel like shit right now. I can't even describe whats going through my mind right now....I feel like I've been PLAYED for the last year and a half. So this guy Vice Versa I've been talking to for the longest for like a year and a half if you want to be exact. I just got off the phone with him about 30 minutes ago and I can never say I've been more mad and disgusted in my life. I'm even more disgusted with myself that I let this bullshit go on for as long as I did. I'm not going to go into detail about the entire conversation because it takes up too much time and I'm going to get really pissed off if I try to write down what that bitch ass nigga said to me. I just give a few details....BISEXUALITY, RESPECT, SEX, THE IDEA OF CALLING ME A BITCH, and OH YEAH HIMSELF. The conversation ended with him saying who he was and had been fucking that he had no respect for me at all. I hung up. I tired of the bullshit. I starting to believe that him continuously calling me and his fucking disrespecting me every chance he gets is a curse against me for praying that he would come back into my life. I fucking regret that. I wish I had never prayed about at all if I knew what it was going to cost me....my dignity, integrity, and my respect as a BLACK woman. Men especially BLACK men feel they can call females bitches and hoes because its ok. Its the way to prove your a man...that BULLSHIT if you ask me. To me that makes you a coward and a BITCH yourself for even call a female that and to think that its ok because you call everyone else that...what kind of mess is that. BULLSHIT thats what it is. Just to think I been letting this nigga back in and out of my life. I told myself a month ago if he never call me again that I would be ok...I would live because I've experienced heartache before and I know what its like to feel like you care for someone and they don't give a fuck about you. Its just about the PUSSY and thats it. I would if I was to go around screwing every man that walked up and down my block that I wouldn't be called a HOE....I think not. That seems to be what niggas are all about nowdays. Hitting it and quitting it. If I was to do it what would that prove...I'm one of them? This may sound like I'm on some man hating triad right now but I'm not...I just voicing how I feel right now...I love my black men...I really do what yall need to get ya shit together be real with a female and quit putting on this front like yall really feeling us when yall just trying to get in the panties....its not cute and with what's being contracted now days...that shit and healthy or kosher for that matter.
On the real....thats what I have to say right now... wait its not
I really do care about Vice Versa in fact I think I love his trick ass but I will NOT allow myself to be at the hands of his misgynistic ways...that man fucks everything that was walks up and down the block and at the grocery store. That shit aint kosher and or healthy that nasty ass nigga has nerves to ask me if I had an STD test....Shit I should be the one asking him that!! I've been sex free for the last 4 months and counting and I can happily say that I'm DISEASE FREE!!! I That shits gross and unsanitary...Was I that STUPID not to see it...I...I...I... I'm speechless and I feel like crying.
I'm out.

Damn...he's taken?

Too much going on in my life right now. So I met this guy. Yes I met another guy. Hmmmm what name can I come up for him...Mole.Yes mole. His mole is really CUTE! Anyway I met Mole about two weeks ago. He randomly wrote me on Facebook and we had been messaging eachother that entire night. Well I look again on his profile the next day only to find out that this fool has a girlfriend. At first it didn't say who he was in a relationship with it just said he was in a relationship. Immediately I was look.....No WAY!! I'm not talking to some guy that has a girlfriend. He's barking up the wrong tree! So I forgot about it until the next week that following Thursday to be exact that he texted me and was like Hey rememeber me. We met on FACEBOOK last week. I simply responded yeah I remember you. Mole wanted to come and see me. I wasn't havin it. Mole had a girlfriend. What would she think? He wanted me to call him that night. So I did. He sounded too cute on the phone. He turned me off again with the whole girlfriend thing. He wasn't afraid to admit it. Bold move on his part. We finally met face to face Saturday night. Wooooooo! Mole was too cute. Lookin toooo THUGISH! We chilled for a bit that night and then things got a lil' HEATED. Too heated. We kissed...A LOT! I felt bogus because I was committing an act that was WRONG in MY BOOK!! How could I kiss this guy that has a girlfriend? How would I feel if I was in her shoes and thinking that Would have lost my bet to CELIBACY that night. We we got real close and got to know eachother and the body for that matter. For a second there I thought I had him on the verge of dropping the girlfriend if he wanted to get with me. At least it felt that way that night. Well I text him the next day about any regrets about that night. He said no. Didn't hear from him for like 3 days and he randomly called me last Wednesday. Mole wanted to see me. I was happy. But pissed about the girlfriend issue. He stayed for a bit but came back the next day. This times things got a little heated again......CELIBACY would have been gone out of the window....again. Self control comes in handy now a days. That was last time I saw him. I feel like I should let this crush go. I mean Mole has me turned out! And we haven't even done anything...really . He has a girlfriend and its wrong for me to even go after someone I can't have. But you should see her....Homegirl can't even COMPETE with me. But who go to him first? She did. End of story. Time to move on. Signing off!

BLIZZARD!!!! OH HELL NAW!!

This is what I looked like when I returned from a long ass day in the damn snow!! Damn today was like the worst blizzard ever at least it seemed that way. Shit I came outside to at 8:20 knowing damn well I was going to be late to my 8:30 class and it was fuckin snowing!! What happened! I mean it was freezing like hell last nite and I wake up only to find that its a fuckin blizzard in front of my dorm. Yeah I was late to class. Oh well. The snow looked pretty though but it was horrible!!!

For those of you just tuning in....you'll just have to read.

Is it a little to early to be thinking about the weekend? I mean its only Tuesday and I already wish it was Friday. I wanna put on my "sexy" clothes and shake my ass and get drunk. I haven't done that in a while. 2 weeks to be exact.

Which reminds me to tell you guys about my ocassional BOO who just loves my BREASTS. He's a member of Iota Phi Theta Fraternity, Inc. and let me tell you guys I cant keep this guys lips off my BOOBIES! Each time I see him, in his Cameroonian accent he says "How are Jack and Jill. I miss them!!" Then he proceeds to kiss them!! I just cheese my ass off and watch how envious the men are that wish they could do the same. Although its funny...I do find it a little disturbing sometimes. I mean who comes up to you and says " Open the Gate! Let me see your Titties!" Never!!

LOL lets get off of that topic.

I guess I'll be signing off for now.

Wow!!

Wow! So this is my first post? Interesting I must say. I mean I've posted on my other page for like a year now so I figure it was time for something different a new change in scenery I guess. This internet radio is pissing me off. The shit keeps skipping. Anyway this is an introductory post. So....allow me to introduce myself. My name is Candyce. I am currently a sophomore at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. My major for now is Journalism but its probably going to change into Advertising. Don't know yet. Hmmm anything else...I'm an Aries. (If that even matters) Whats been going on in my life. Boy drama of course. I have something to celebrate. I've been celibate for a month now. My friend Kim and I have been having this debate about celibacy whether its forced or not. Well in my case its not forced because I actually choose to be celibate. For someone to have celibacy forced on them is when they aren't getting in ASS. Sorry mine isn't forced. I want it...I'm just not allowing myself to have it.

Hmmm now that I'm on the subject of sex...Its time to chill out in that department. I feel dirty for doing what I've done in the last year and a half. I can still remember the most important dates in my history of sex. The time I lost my virginity, the time I cheated on my boyfriend who "thought" he took my virginity not once but twice, my first one night stand, my first threesome, drunken sex, and last but not least...new years sex. Time to chill out, and quit letting the body do the talking , but it seems to be getting me into trouble. Don't get me wrong I love sex. A LOT. Trust me A LOT. I'm giving in too easily expecting something in return when all I get is a slap in the face. bummer. In the beginning i called myself a WHORE. Sex seemed like I had to have or I wasn't sane. I'm good now. I went without for about 8 months. Most of you might say "Big Deal?" That was a big deal for me! Shit I wasn't getting ANY booty!! So I'm going to end this on a good note. Oh yeah a lot of you might be ready about my two biggest problems in my BOY Drama.... Binky and Vice Versa.

Feel free to read my emotional blog on Xanga. Everything you need to know about them is on that one....too EMOTIONAL

www.xanga.com/Brokenhearted_CeCe